


Goodbye

by teaseofnight



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Enlistment, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:43:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4988941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaseofnight/pseuds/teaseofnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He can't say goodbye yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye

He should be there. 

He should be with the others, taking one last night — just one more — to celebrate with the person he loved the most. 

He should be the one giving him sad hugs, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

He should be the one whispering how much he adored the older man, how much he loved him with all his heart. 

He should be there. 

But for the life of him, he couldn't manage to. 

So he hid, curled up on the bed with blankets thrown over his head and earplugs in. 

He knew the others would be disappointed in him, not being able to say—

Shaking his head, he refused to allow the thought to even enter his mind. If it did, reality would pull on him and ground him completely, making him bear the weight on his shoulders like there were boulders on it. 

He just can't say it. 

Time passed, and he didn't know how much had passed exactly. 

But his attention was caught when he felt the bed sink under another weight, eyes lifting up from his game of Cookie Run in order to see who it was. 

His heart lurched when he realized it was the member he wanted to avoid the most. 

"H-Hyung."

The older man smiled, albeit sadly. "Are you not going to come out and join us?" He whispered, voice not accusing — never one to accuse — and gentle. 

Shaking his head, he hugged his knees to his chest. 

"I can't," he choked out, already feeling his eyes burn with tears. 

Humming, the older shifted a bit before he was sitting next to him, the familiar warmth seeping through the blankets covering the younger member. He said nothing for a moment as he wrapped an arm around the curled form, tugging him slightly. 

Obeying, the younger leaned against his shoulder, burying his face against it. 

"Are you afraid, Kyu?"

Kyuhyun stiffened at the question, but refused to look up at him. "I can't — I'm not."

"Why are you lying to me?" came the soft inquiry, but like always, it wasn't one meant to accuse the youngest member of the group. "You never lie to me."

Choking back the words he wanted to scream at the older man, Kyuhyun but the tip of his tongue. Instead, he swallowed the bitter words down his throat, not wanting to let this conversation be the last one to be between them. 

He didn't want to leave any painful memories behind. 

So he sniffled, hands reaching up to cling onto the shirt the older man was wearing. 

"I'm sorry. I can't—I can't do it."

It was the bitter truth, and it made Kyuhyun feel disappointed even in himself. Not being able to say it meant he couldn't bring himself to care enough, that the older man wasn't worth at least that one word. 

And his precious person deserved a lot more. 

To his surprise, an amused chuckle escaped from the older, and he felt a finger push his chin up. When their eyes met, Kyuhyun expected to see the hurt; instead, there was fondness and love — so much affection in those deep brown eyes that it made Kyuhyun blush just from under the gaze of it. 

"If you can't say it, then don't."

The statement took Kyuhyun surprised. "What?"

Nodding, the older man released him in order to rest his hands flat on the bed, leaning back on the weight it could support. 

"If you can't say it, then don't say it," he repeated. "I'm tired of hearing people say it to me and wish me luck."

Confusion quickly settled. "If you don't want me to say it, then what should I say?"

A fond exasperated smile graced the older member's face. "Tell me something else. Just don't say those words."

Quickly realizing what he wanted, Kyuhyun obliged, snuggling up against him as he wrapped his arms loosely around the older man. He stared at the clock sitting on his night desk for a moment as his mind struggled to find the appropriate words to say. 

Finally, he opened his mouth, telling the older man everything — from the moment he met him, to when he fell in love with him, to their future. It helped lift the weight off his shoulders, and once he stopped talking, he heard the older man speak up, telling him the same. 

They spent the rest of the night like that, eventually moving to a more comfortable position on the bed, wrapped up in each other's arms. Sad stories, happy memories — all of it was said. Neither of them never said that one little word, the one word that would break both of their hearts. The night was spent simply like that, soft laughters escaping from them and love stricken smiles adorning their faces. 

And it was how they spent their last night together. 

When Kyuhyun woke up, he ignored the ache his heart gave when he didn't see the older man beside him anymore. He held back the sob that threatened to escape from him, his fingers curling tightly around the sheets. 

He sat up slowly, trying to ignore the depression weighing down on him. His eyes shifted over to the door when he heard a soft knock, eyes filling up with tears as soon as they landed on the older man standing in the door way. 

Kyuhyun hurried off the bed to give him a tight hug, being returned with a tight one of his own. 

"I'll be back," the older man whispered. "This isn't a goodbye — it's a promise."

Trying to keep his sobs quiet, the younger nodded, pressing their foreheads together as the older man linked their pinkies together — a childish way of promise, but one that held so much meaning. Quickly trying to calm down, he gave a watery smile. 

"I'll hold you to that, Donghae-hyung."

_Come back to me. Keep your promise._

_I'll always love you and wait for you._


End file.
